Last week, I went to this open casting call for the reality show Big Brother.
Anyone that knows me personally, probably knows that I've been waiting in the wings for this opportunity for years. At first, I wasn't twenty-one and then this year I was getting married... but the next Big Brother... Big Brother 9 next summer was going to be the one.
I don't know what my fascination with Big Brother is exactly, but I'm sure it's some kind of reinventing myself fantasy like losing all of my weight was four years ago. I can go on TV, in a house of strangers and be myself or be something totally different, whichever feels more correct. Then I can prove something by outsmarting these strangers. It's my idea of fun, honestly.
But for some unknown reason, I completely blew my audition video. I shit out of my mouth and definitely ended all chances for Big Brother 9.
I had this whole story I was going to write before I wrote that I blew chunks, but it's not that important anymore. It did however involve a whole lot of women at a "Women's Show" buying shoes and handbags and floofy bendy pens for no reason as I sat blowing the video. Then I ended the video with, "Well, I kinda blew this video, so I'll stop now."
Dear lord.
So keep an eye out for me on Big Brother 9 next year. I'll be the guy sitting on a couch and watching the show in the reflection of the TV screen.
This is further proof that having a camera shoved in your face just doesn't get any easier. This just begs the question once again... why the hell do I want to go on this show so bad?
Maybe it's to get used to cameras?
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