Please join the dark side with me.

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I am not going to say this once. I am going to say the shit out of it.

CANCEL YOUR NETFLIX SUBSCRIPTION.

The first time I ever used the bastards, I had this to say...


Netflix is the single greatest thing about the internet.

Now, all I can say is... CANCEL YOUR NETFLIX SUBSCRIPTION and call them and tell them why you're doing it. I'll be calling them, but not because I hope they'll change and I'll come crawling back, but just because I want them to KNOW.

That they fucked it all up.

Elise and I started renting a lot of TV shows and going on all-night marathons where we watch the whole season of Arrested Development or Strangers With Candy or PBS' Frontier House or Undeclared in one sitting.

Then all of a sudden, the last disc of Undeclared took an astounding six days to come our way. Astounding because Netflix has been solid since we signed up. Shipping the SAME day from their Orlando center that is only miles from our house. Then all of sudden, we're going crazy waiting six days to see the end of this show and then the disc was scratched, the first problem we've been having lately. In the same month, two discs arrived broken and one scratched.

But that is understandable. I blamed it on the mailman. Just like I blamed the six day wait for that last disc of Undeclared. Our damn movies were getting jumbled in the mail. Because since that disc, nothing has been the same.

Three movies sent back on the same day will result not in three movies arriving two days later, but one movie arriving four days later and then five for the next and six. For the first time ever, our movies were taking forever to get here and getting here lonely, seperated from their siblings.

And yet, even though they were all supposed to be sent on the same day. Our weird arrival pattern never came out of queue. Still, that didn't tip me off. Still, I blamed the mailman.

Today, I read about a class action lawsuit against Netflix that has already settled. And now I know.

I am what is known as a "Heavy User" of Netflix because I've ordered more than twelve discs in one month. As far as I know, once you're labeled as a heavy user, there's no going back and so I'm getting the fuck out of dodge.

Heavy users are subjected to "throttling" because they devour most of Netflix's disc supply before a casual or "light" user can get to it. The problem with that is that the heavy users are also the most loyal and most likely to keep the service, where as the light user or new subscriber still on their free trial needs to be impressed to stay on board and paying the subscription fee.

As a heavy user, my discs are purposefully being delayed from shipping. Delayed just long enough to help their bottom line, while still making me feel like I'm getting my money's worth each month. And I may still be getting my money's worth, by rental store standards, but I no longer feel like I am a part of "the greatest thing about the internet."

I do not want to wait six days to get a new release. Not that I can get new releases anymore. Because that's the second thing about the heavy user throttling. It puts you at bottom priority no matter how long ago you placed a movie in your queue. Because, what does Netflix care? They're going to delay your shipment anyway.

So Walk the Line comes out next week and let's say I've had it saved in my queue for the last three months. Someone can sign up for Netflix on Tuesday and they'll probably get it before me, just because. Because they need to be impressed and who am I?

I'm just somebody who has somehow in some system's eyes, abused what is advertised as an "Unlimited" service, just by using it.

The class action lawsuit filed for all of this ended in a joke. Everyone that subscribed before 2005 gets to check out four discs at once for a month, instead of three. That's it. One month of an extra disc for them to delay.

Because they're still going to throttle people, even after the lawsuit. They've just changed the fine print in their TOS.

I think I'm going to go see how Blockbuster's online service is doing these days. Right after I CANCEL NETFLIX.

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