The second wacky soda taste test was a bust. The comedy wasn't golden. The flavors didn't even resemble their solid food counterparts. They weren't even disgusting enough, save the Smoked Salmon Pate Soda, which seemed to have some sort of white chum floating at the top of the sealed bottle.
According to my notes, the catchphrase for the night was, "Let it sit in your mouth." Which I was apparently suggesting we do with the Pecan Pie Soda,to prove a point that all 9 holiday soda flavors all have the same, faint and unexplainable undertone that could only be called the "Jones Holiday Taste," a taste that made each and every new soda remind me of each soda before, making them consistently worse and harder to swallow. So I would insist, "Let it sit in your mouth." Then that undertone would hit you and the Brussels Sprouts, the Pumpkin Pie, the Broccoli Casserole, it would all come flooding back and you'd want to puke. But Adam swore that he genuinely enjoyed the Pecan Pie soda, so maybe I'm just crazy.
Other than that, there wasn't much funny. Or even funny pictures. Mostly there was just vulgarities. Us finally fed up with disgusting soda liquids.
Perhaps the reason that I am not going to transcribe the full-blown taste test of these sodas, is best exhibited in Adam Wekarski's review of the Smoked Salmon Pate Soda--
"It's really bad. Terrible. And let me clarify that there is indeed some sort of Haley Joel Osment semen-juice floating amongst the pink abyss that is this smoked mystery. Why did Christian sip this twice?"
Once Adam goes on to explain how the soda makes him want to commit a vile act of domestic violence, it became evident that we had nothing left to say about these novelty sodas.
So, until next year's festivities, I'll leave you with some advice, that if you actually find and try this soda for yourself, "Let it sit in your mouth!"
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