I did some calculations and I think it came out to $30,000 a year to live comfortably here. In our one bedroom abode. With Elise's one car.
It's a good thing I have a girlfriend. I couldn't live with a roommate and I couldn't live on my own otherwise. Living, I've found, is very expensive.
And did you hear that they want to put an eighteen cent tax on each plastic bag you receive at the grocery store? First, they complained that paper bags were wasting trees and stores converted mainly to plastic. Now, they know that plastic bags biodegrade as slow as rat shit and no one knows what the heck to do. We're supposed to be using reusable canvas bags that we take with us.In Ireland, they enforced a plastic bag tax and usage went down by ninety percent. I don't think it will ever happen here though. Wal-Mart will wave a magic wand and politicians will walk away with fat pockets.
Besides, plastic bags don't go to waste! They go to good use... being filled up with more garbage before they're thrown away!
Eighteen cents a bag and we'll all be saying, "Just put the Pine Sol in with the broccoli... Oh, that steak too. And the eggs. And that 2-liter of soda. Trust me, it will fit. And don't you DARE double bag it!"
Elise dropped off of Disney's map, even though they were supposed to hold her in the computer system for a year and now she'll have to sit through three days of happy horse shit training to be a recognized "cast member" once again.
I told her that she should look into Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede Dinner Show, because there's only one show a night and there are horses! Granted, she'd probably have to wear a bustier to work every night, but the tips might be good.
My payment for co-writing Eating Stella Style will allow me to live as a full-time writer for several more months, but beyond that is up to me. This full-time writer has to work full-time coming up with words and ways to continue writing, full-time.
So that I don't end up in that bustier, serving food in what smells like a stable.
Tonight, I've been trying to think up ways to save Elise from that same fate. An eBay business! No. Handmade crafts! No.
There's always diving for golfballs.
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