I don't like it when real people talk to me on websites.

Barnes and Noble,

If I wanted people to pop up in front of my face and talk to me in full fluid motion, I'd go to one of your actual bookstores. At least Microsoft Word's "Clippy" doesn't talk, as annoying as he is. Some people are running a cord from their computer to their stereo, so that they can listen to all of their albums in iTunes and someone was listening to Sufjan Stevens when your stupid woman started talking over it.

How dare you.