CHRISTIAN: I would like to add a new phone to my parents' family plan.
SPRINT: Allrighty, I'll have that up and going for you in no time... just let me punch a few things into the computer. Oh.
CHRISTIAN: Yes?
SPRINT: The computer is telling me that you can't.
CHRISTIAN: Can't?
SPRINT: Yes. It says that the maximum numbers allowed for the account are two and that they are already in use.
CHRISTIAN: There's a limit of two phones on your family plan?
SPRINT: Well, it says that your deposit is only in the amount of $250, and each phone requires a $125 deposit... so that's two.
CHRISTIAN: Okay, so I'll add another $125 to the deposit.
SPRINT: You can't.
CHRISTIAN: I can't?
SPRINT: According to the computer, you can't have more than two phones because of the credit check.
CHRISTIAN: But we've been with you for nearly two years!
SPRINT: I understand.
CHRISTIAN: What I don't understand is, we have a deposit of $250 on file with you and if we use our phones over our plan and all the way up to $250, you shut the phones off immediately, don't you?
SPRINT: Yes.
CHRISTIAN: So how could we possibly use the phones negligently, even if we wanted to? And how come I can't raise the amount of that deposit, just to show you that I'm serious?
SPRINT: The only thing you can do is create your own account with us.
CHRISTIAN: And pay an even bigger deposit than $125 and more and more money a month?
SPRINT: Not necessarily... the deposit would be based on your credit.
CHRISTIAN: Of which I have none established.
SPRINT: We do have a plan at only $35 a month for 300 minutes.
CHRISTIAN: But to add another phone to my parents plan is only $25 a month, plus $5 phone insurance. Your $35 plan, plus $5 in taxes and fees, plus $5 for the phone insurance, plus $5 for free Sprint to Sprint calling to call my parents would bring that up to $50 a month, for only 300 minutes! My parents are already paying the taxes, the Sprint to Sprint fee and they're always left with 750 minutes of their plan that they do not use each and every month!
SPRINT: Maybe you'd like to give it a try?
CHRISTIAN: If I wanted my own service, I would've signed up with Cingular because I would get free calling to all of my friends. I don't even like Sprint. Nobody uses Sprint. I was just doing this because it was my parent's family plan.
SPRINT: I'm sorry.
CHRISTIAN: So what do I do with this $250 paperweight that I am holding? That I was told I had to purchase before I could ADD A PHONE to my parent's service?
SPRINT: You can set up your own service with us, or you can return it.
CHRISTIAN: I'll have to return it and go to Cingular, thank you.
CALL #2
::I explain my situation to a different representative::
SPRINT: I don't see why you couldn't add an additional deposit to add an additional phone!
CHRISTIAN: Ahh! Thank you!
SPRINT: Let me just transfer you over to the billing department.
::click, dialing... no service, because I'm calling on my new paperweight that insisted that I dial *2 to set the phone up for the first time... apparently I was transferred to a number that was not recognized as a free Sprint call.::
CALL #3...
(Now on the land-line.)
...was exactly the same as the first call, sentences always starting with "Well, the computer is telling me..."
ME: A representative just told me that it could be done! That I could pay an extra deposit to add my phone.
SPRINT: Who would tell you that?
I wanted to smash my phone into pieces. I still do. This phone is great. Sprint is not. If I am forced to sign up on my own plan, so be it--but it certainly won't be with Sprint.
The man that sold me the phone at Radioshack, he was awesome. Didn't try to sell me on a plan or anything. Now I'll probably have to go return it to him like a jackass.
But first, my father is going to call and threaten to cancel his account with Sprint.
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