January 2005 Archives

I have the song for you! What song, you ask? A song by one Ryan Winford. Written by himself and I. Based on last week's story "Circles" over at my flash fiction site Ribcage. It was recorded in about ten hours spanning two days in the basement that I live in. Elise played the flute.

Anyway, enjoy! Eventually the song will find a home somewhere on the Ribcage site and then even more eventually on Ryan's next CD.

Right click and "save target as"...

Butterflies in Winter

I've also been laboring over this diet book. I actually am! Can you believe it? I'm starting to question whether someone will actually publish it, but whatever. I'll self publish it if it comes down to that. The problem is that, all of these teen self-help books on the market are so damn SAFE... and so if I say something even slightly logical, it may come off as--gasp!--controversial.

Do not start your introduction: What's up? (It proves you are phony right off)
Do not suggest a McDonald's cheeseburger as a healthy fast-food choice.
Do not write a diet book for teens.

THIS is what's out there for overweight teens? This is pathetic.

It makes me feel so good about my book.

Also, you might wonder how two people such as Elise and myself could have a cat such as our cat Sedna for months now and still not know whether it is male or female.

My answer to that is simple... Sedna is really fluffy. There is just... so much fur. She has been a her since the day Elise found her in a parking lot. She was a she based on presumptions, really. We tried to check, we really did, but the hypothesis was still leaning toward female. My previous male cat was obviously male... it was plainly clear. But Sedna and all that fur!

Anyhow. She is a HE. It's official. I've seen it. The cat isn't even neutered and we STILL never saw! I am a believer now. Case closed. Next case please.

She's the best male cat ever, though. Doesn't pee on our stuff ninety percent of the time, and them's good odds.

I promise that this is the last time I'll talk about cat genitalia.

Ryan flew up from Florida and we've spent the last two days turning last week's Ribcage story into a song. Yes, a song. It's a pretty amazing song. And now I have to mix it. Hopefully I'll post a finished version in the next couple of days.

Until then, goodnight everybody!

Elise went into work for orientation the other day. She was gone for two hours. I wrote two pages in my diet book without even trying. Elise working is going to be the best thing that ever happened to that book. Also, I'm far more confident in where the actual text is going now. Now that I've scrapped something like twenty-five orginal pages. False start was all. Jeremy and I knew a lot about false starts in our collaborative screenwriting days. I think we set a record there. But can you call something a false start if it was never even finished? Ooh... jabbed! Jabbed is the new dis! Pass that on.

All right, yeah, sleep. Goodnight! I promise to kick some life back into this dead mule I call a blog. I promise.

I hope you like it and I hope you have yourself a good day.

Elise got official word on her job today as well. She got it. Starts Friday. In the cosmetics of Wild Oats Market, only they call it their "Natural Living" section. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. E and I have spent every minute together for the last two months. To the point that it makes you sick, I know. I've promised to write the diet book while she's at work, which is fair enough.

So what do you think the legalities of slipping things into magazines is? More specifically, walking into a store and slipping postcard sized Ribcage stories into literary magazines. These postcards I made are quite ravishing. One side is a story and the other is the heart logo in full color, with the web address of course. I don't make any money off of the site or anything and I will only attack a few magazines per store. Kind of a grassroots effort. Like street teams. I've also made little ads for bulletin boards at Borders and the like. Just trying to get myself out there.

This week I'll do a second wave of story submissions as well. Still no responses from that first wave though.

Anyhow, I did actually make myself finish mixing this new song. It's called Living Hell and you can download it here, if you care. Right click and go to "save as" to get it onto your machine.

Anyhow, enjoy! This is hopefully just the first of many new recordings. A new album even! I'll keep you posted, since Ryan's blog is a dead duck.

{ the color yellow }

It was inspired by William McKinley's wife Ida. The first lady. She hated the color yellow and made the White House a yellow-free zone. Ordered yellow flowers yanked from the gardens even! I thought, Wow! Colors can illicit such a reaction!

I would say that credit is also due to Bright Eyes for the song, True Blue. More color inspiration.

Also, Amy Hempel, who makes my sentences more concise every time I touch one of her books.

Anyway, I hope you like it!

I forgot to mention earlier this week that I submitted stories to five literary magazines. Including The New Yorker, just to get a rejection letter from them. (I know, I know... have a little optimism... but it's the friggin' NEW YORKER we're talking about) More importantly, sent one off to McSweeney's, the dream of all dreams.

As I mentioned I might do... I've replaced the archived story Stranger with one that is brand new and an Emily story like all the others.

{ look at teeth }

Click here and follow the link above this week's story. Or scroll down the archives. It's an odd one. Enjoy! And thanks for reading!

It snowed some ice last week. Our ground is a crunchy layer of it. It wasn't real snow. It was disappointing. It still is. The ground is a frozen pond.

Elise and I are visiting Florida on the 3rd of next month. We have tickets to see Bright Eyes there. I haven't been this excited since Pete Yorn. This is flight, I say.

Things here are lazy and changing. We swear.

I guess I have to go write about my life as an obese child now. I guess. I will. I will! I will! I am. I swear.

Perhaps the most exciting new cookbook on the market is from George Stella. George Stella's Livin' Low Carb: Family Recipes Stella Style.

Shortly after, the book jumped to number 17 on Amazon.com's bestsellers list.

I would like to thank all of those that are reading Ribcage.

David Anaxagoras for all the emails and the support through his blog.

Grkgrl88 for the support through her blog.

Jen Dawn, who linked to the site.

"Mr. Fun" who did as well.

Nathan White, who I never emailed back. I was away in Florida at the time... but thanks for the kind words and I would love to read one of your stories, come that time.

Rachel, thanks to you as well. I eat compliments.

Annalisa, you're playing in CT? I am not sure who you are, however.

Mara, I'm not much of a photographer... all I have is a 3 megapixel Fuji digital camera. And thanks for watching my show!

Thanks to Cass and Cait for their comments. Cait, I printed out the first paragraph of your comment and taped it in my journal. That was beautiful. I am going to read some of your writing later tonight.

Liz, for the Ribcage support and having a reaction to the narrator's name! I honestly didn't think he would ever have one, but I was wrong. At the same time, don't know how often it will pop up. The Ribcage stories are mostly Emily, obviously. I am planning a novel though that is the opposite. A prequel of sorts. Also, you were great on the show as well. I am never comfortable on camera. That was the seventh time I've been on TV and it doesn't get any easier. (The View, Low Carb Revolution, 48 hours and four episodes of the show, though that episode was the one I was in the longest.) By the way, I would like to read some of your writing as well!

Thanks again everyone. I am hoping to post an extra story this week. A small one to replace "Stranger" in the archives. Stranger is the odd duck. Not an Emily story.

Most of all though, Elise spent all night finishing my birthday gift the other night... I like to call it a "CD quilt." Made of all different fabrics, it hangs on the wall so we can grab cd's on our way out the door. For car listening. It's quite beautiful in person... the picture is terrible. I've thanked her in person, but I am thanking her again... mostly because I wanted everyone to read how wonderful she is. She is.

I just now finished this week's story. I hope you like it. It's maybe my favorite, which I know I say a lot. Though, if you've ever watched my father's show you'd know where I get that undecided favorite thing. (Bell peppers - "They're my favorite!" Garlic - "It's my favorite!" And so on and so on.)

Speaking of my father's show... my new episode is on TONIGHT at 5 pm. Don't miss it! I'm in basically every minute of it and I was stressed out of my mind and it should prove to be great television! Don't miss it! Food Network at 5 pm. Tivo it.

Also... the next day my father will be on something like 25 local morning news shows across the country via satellite... pushing the book of course. Then a similar deal with 20 radio stations.

The fourth is the "official" release date of the book. Also my birthday. The fourth is the official release date of the book and that's the first week that it can be included in any bestseller list.

It is currently number 113 of all books on Amazon.com. The best position it's ever held. Once again... publicity kicks into full gear TOMORROW.

We're all hoping and believing that this week's push will push it into the New York Times 100.

So let's all take a breath.

Also my new episode of Low Carb and Lovin' It airs 5pm this Wednesday on Food Network. I'll keep reminding you of this.