Everyone is asleep on the

Second day of wheat exclusion and I'm waking up at ten in the morning. Ten in the morning said "hello." I hadn't seen him in months. We caught up for a bit. Apparently he's always been there.

For breakfast this morning I smeared peanut butter on the fridge's one stalk of celery that hadn't sogged over with rotten neglect. I then dropped little drops of blueberry preserves on top. It was as close to ants on a log that I could accomplish with the ingredients in this house.

Then I cooked an egg.

I had low-carb flashbacks. Searching for anything that I could make that didn't involve wheat.

I need to pick up some cream of rice, Rice Krispies, grits, Corn Flakes... anything filling and breakfasty. Has anyone actually ever eaten cream of rice before? I'm imagining a soupy flavorless tapioca pudding type mess, but maybe I'm wrong.

Second day of wheat exclusion and I feel great. Can't fucking believe it. You see that... I used the word "fuck" to prove that I'm not fucking around here.