To preface... this house was

To preface... this house was built in 1959. It was a simpler time. There isn't a television in every room. Cable television does not yet exist. This has nothing to do with cable television, but it will. This has to do with overloaded power breakers.

This is going to be all over the place for a moment.

Central air is a beautiful thing. It is the best thing about the south. It could also be the best thing about the north, but is mostly absent. It's a cost issue. I sometimes want to slap anyone that scoffs at central air, insisting that they get a wonderful cross breeze just by opening the front door, nineteen windows, the back door, the garage door and turning on that little exhaust fan above the stove.

We don't have central air. It's a cost issue. This gets back to overloaded power breakers, I promise.

There are three single-serving window air conditioners going at all times now. It's not enough, still, and the one in the living room sounds like the soothing white noise in the cabin of an airliner, only amplified ten times over to the point that it's no longer soothing but all-encompassing. To the point that you can't hear the television any longer. The television. Isn't that the point of the living room nowadays? No worries though. There's a television in every room. Cable too. This has nothing to do with cable television, but it will. This has to do with overloaded power breakers, remember?

These air conditioners are causing new stress on our feeble power breakers. Not to mention the zoo of fans running in Jeremy's room, though I doubt those have as much of an impact. Certainly not as much of an impact as...

My hair iron. Gasp! Dare I speak of a straightening iron? Yes. My hair, when not tended to, tends to be a horrible mop of frizz, curls and vertical bigness. So I straighten my hair. I realize that this is a bit emasculating, but these are different times. There's a television in every room. Cable too. This has nothing to do with cable television, but it will. This has to do with overloaded power breakers and the point at which they overload. The point? I plug the hair iron in in the bathroom and half the house loses power. Computers lose workloads, be it blog entries or pages in low carb cookbooks due out by Simon and Schuster in January of next year. I plug the hair iron in the only open outlet of my bedroom and the other half of the house loses power. Different computers lose workloads. Different blog entries. Simon and Schuster breathes safely, but my hair is still a mess.

There is a way around this. There is only one way around this. There is cable in every room. There is an extra outlet, built into the back of the cable box.

And so, just now, I fixed my hair, the iron's cord running into the back of a cable box. And I had to laugh. And then I started in on 1959. A simpler time. No television in every room. Cable television does not yet exist. And boys like me just deal with their frizz, curls and vertical bigness. Then again, without cable, who are they trying to model themselves after anyway?