Tonight I watched Steve-O get his face farted on while attempting to rub a rhinoceros' penis. He had his face farted on and then he started retching.
I watched them pick up bees by their body and push their stingers into each other. I watched them force a bee to sting a midget on the nose.
They drank cow's blood with the Samburu tribe in Africa. They drank cow's blood and then Steve-O started retching.
Rhino farts, bee stings, cow's blood... they face this stuff without fear...
And yet... I can't face THIS...
I know what you're saying... you're saying, "Christian! That's slightly larger than a nickel, of course you should be afraid of that!"
But let me say that it was even larger than slightly larger than a nickel, because there is a slight perception problem with the angle of this photograph and therefore my intention to show comparison of size was poorly executed and only gives relatively accurate scale.
So it was KINDA BIGGER. And it creeped. And it crawled. And it must have been from some other world. As many legs as a centipede, big long spider-like legs in the back... this bug was disgusting. Disgusting and new. No one had ever seen such a creature!
Somewhere along the line, a shrimp, a centipede, a spider and a cockroach all had sex and made THIS thing.
Eventually it was Jeremy that stepped up, two Dixie cups in hand, to capture it. This was heroic, yes, but it had also run all the way into his bedroom and had therefore become his problem.
He caught it once. It escaped. This creature was cunning. Fast. It ran into my bedroom and Jeremy threw the cups onto my floor. It was now my problem.
Eventually Jeremy came back in, re-caught it, threw it outside and we got back to Survivor.
After much internet research, googling and all of that, I have discovered just what this creature truly was...
A COMMON HOUSE CENTIPEDE
That's right! Think of how scary that sounds! Common House Centipede... who ever heard of such a creature!?
Read all about them. They're drawn inside houses for their warmth and are best ridded by... reducing your house's spider population. Apparently they eat spiders. They are so much bigger and scarier than the spiders.
What eats a common house centipede? I don't want to know. Here is a drawing I found...
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